In a surprise twist to the State Opening of Parliament, the Queen revealed that everyone involved was dead and only existed in a parallel dimension.

‘This may be difficult for some of you to take in,’ said the Queen, ‘but every one here in the Palace of Westminster is a ghost. You are all sinners waiting in a state of purgatory as punishment for your crimes.’

‘This a major disappointment,’ said BBC political editor Nick Robinson, ‘I have been watching Parliament since Season One and this ending just seems like a terrible cop out.’

Writers of the long running drama had struggled to find an exit strategy after a series of increasingly convoluted and preposterous storylines. ‘We needed to find some way of tying up all those loose ends,’ said writer, Ashley Pharoah, ‘we toyed with a nuclear bomb or a plane crash but in the end we decided that it was easiest to pretend that none of it had happened in the first place.’

Fans of the show say that the clues were there all along. ‘The House of Lords was obviously full of people who had already passed away,’ said political historian, Professor Peter Hennessy, ‘Gordon Brown had been walking around with a deathly pallor for months and many of us had already twigged that David Cameron wasn’t really human.’

‘The whole thing had been going on far too long anyway,’ said parliamentary commentator Matthew Parris, ‘and some of the recent plot twists had stretched credulity too far. A coalition between the Conservatives and the Liberals. I mean, really…’

Many fans still remain confused. ‘I realise that all the politicians are ghosts,’ said one, ‘but were they all a figment of the Queen’s imagination or is she dead too?’ Meanwhile, others are wondering whether the recent General Election had actually happened. ‘I distinctly remember voting,’ said housewife, Mrs Maureen Grebe, ‘but then I woke up and discovered a government that nobody had voted for. Was that all part of some crazy dream as well?’

‘Why did it all have to end like this?’ bemoaned the show’s newest character, Nick Clegg, as tears rolled down his face, ‘things were all going so well for me and now it turns out I don’t even exist. What a swizz.’

The complete DVD box set of Parliament is now available in the shops at a cost of £6.2 billion.

The first meeting of David Cameron’s coalition cabinet has ended in chaos and division with angry arguments about the fairest distribution of tea and biscuits.

‘The existing system of ‘First-Pass-the-HobNobs’ is patently unfair,’ said Lib-Dem leader, Nick Clegg, ‘by the time the biscuits get round to us Eric Pickles has taken all the Chocolate Bourbons. All we are left with are Dr Liam Fox’s Butter Crinkles and nobody wants them.’

‘The Liberal Democrats would like to see a fairer system in which biscuits are allocated according to the number of teas that each of us has,’ said Business Secretary, Vince Cable, ‘I drank three cups of tea but got no biscuits. George Osborne had one cup but snaffled four Custard Creams and a Jammie Dodger, which I clearly saw him hiding under the table.’

The arguments intensified when Home Secretary, Theresa May, raised objections to the Lib-Dem policy of ‘dunking’. ‘We are a modern, progressive party,’ said Mrs May, ‘but I have to draw the line at people who dunk. It is immoral, unnatural and it leaves a horrid gunky mess at the bottom of the cup. That is something I find very difficult to swallow.’

Tensions reached breaking point when William Hague stormed out of the room following a perceived insult from Energy Secretary, Chris Huhne. ‘I think he must have misheard me,’ said Mr Huhne, ‘all I said was that I really hate Garibaldis.’

As the coalition began to crumble, David Cameron made a last ditch attempt to salvage the situation by promising a referendum on AB, or Alternative Biscuits. Under the system every member of cabinet would list their three favourite biscuits in strict order of preference before receiving a variety box containing biscuits nobody really wanted.

‘If the cabinet cannot agree over biscuits then it could trigger a ‘Ginger Snap Election’,’ said constitutional expert, Professor Peter Hennessy, ‘the only remaining option is for David Cameron to ask The Queen to call for the Duchy Originals – something that sounds good in principle but the country simply cannot afford.’