Leaders’ Wives fight for attentions of ‘Milfing Man’

March 14, 2010

‘The British electorate have a very important decision to make,’ said Samantha Cameron, ‘which one of us would you most like to sleep with?’

Speaking on Milfsnet.com all three leaders’ wives pitched their wares. ‘My husband is more than happy that I am whoring myself before the nation,’ said Sarah Brown, ‘although anyone wishing to sleep with me will have to pass Gordon’s five conditions for entry.’

Samantha Cameron, told voters, ‘If you fancy a bit of posh then why not give me a try?’ before launching her new campaign slogan: ‘I’ve never slept with a Conservative leader’s wife before…but I like the look of her.’

Meanwhile, Miriam Gonzalez Durantez, wife of Nick Clegg, insisted ‘this is by no means a two whores race. I may be the least well known of the leaders’ wives but I am by far the most exotic,’ before adding, ‘me love you long time.’

Pollsters believe that with the parties currently neck and neck the election could well be decided on the MILF vote. ‘Politicians used to seek the backing of Worcester Woman,’ said Peter Kellner of YouGov, ‘but it looks like the key to this election could be Milfing Man.’ Political consultant Frank Luntz agreed: ‘This year the ‘swingers vote’ is crucial. Each one of the leaders’ wives will be doing all they can to get Milfing Man right behind her.’

As the election approaches all three wives are already on the campaign trail, walking the streets and pressing the flesh. ‘If I have to sleep with every man in the country to get my husband elected then I will do it’ said Samantha Cameron, ‘I even slept with Trevor McDonald although obviously I would draw the line at Piers Morgan.’

‘This is not just about men,’ said Miriam Durantez, ‘As a liberal I am quite happy to sleep with women too. And let us not forget that under a system of proportional representation everyone would have a chance to sleep with me.’

‘Of course, publicly prostituting ourselves like this is not in the least bit demeaning,’ claimed Sarah Brown, ‘I see it as radical feminism in action. While our husbands think up new ways to screw the nation we are the ones actually going out and doing it.’


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