Ghost of Robin Cook to appear before Iraq Inquiry
March 7, 2010
The former Foreign Secretary, who died in 2005, will give evidence at a special evening séance of the Chilcot Committee via television psychic, Derek Acorah. ‘I am delighted to be helping Robin give evidence to the Inquiry,’ said Acorah, ‘I have been practising his voice and I have even grown a little pointy beard for the occasion.’
The séance, held in conjunction with Living TV’s Most Haunted, will be conducted in candlelight using the traditional round table format, billowing curtains and ouija board – a method previously employed by the intelligence services to establish whether Iraq was harbouring WMDs.
Committee Chairman, Sir John Chilcot, will begin the session by inviting everyone present to hold hands before asking: ‘Is there anybody there?’ The ghost of Mr Cook will then slowly appear before the inquiry. ‘I have never cross examined anyone from the spirit world before,’ said committee member, Sir Roderic Lyne, ‘Although I imagine questioning a ghostly apparition who everyone can see right through will be very much like taking evidence from Tony Blair.’
The ghost of Cook will be asked questions by Baroness Prashar about the build up to war, by Sir Laurence Freedman about the aftermath of war and by Sir Martin Gilbert about his Aunty Mabel.
Some paranormal activity has already been detected at the hearings. ‘A few weeks ago we picked up a lot of wailing, clanking and moaning,’ said presenter of Most Haunted, Yvette Fielding, ‘although admittedly most of it came during the testimony of Clare Short.’
Many parapsychologists also believe that close examination of video footage suggests that Tony Blair may be suffering from a haunted face. Numerous attempts to exorcise the demons have so far proved unsuccessful.
The appearance of Mr Cook is expected to pave the way for the committee’s star witness, former President of Iraq, Saddam Hussein. ‘Quite frankly, he’s got a lot of explaining to do,’ said Sir John, ‘I just hope that he is more co-operative as a ghost then when he was alive.’