Lord Lucan claims killing the nanny covered by ‘Parliamentary privilege’

February 8, 2010

In a shock reappearance, the 7th Earl of Lucan told a packed press conference: “I have absolutely nothing to hide. I murdered that nanny in good faith.”

The elderly peer, who disappeared in 1974, said: “What I did was in full accordance with Parliamentary rules as they stood at the time. I even took the precaution of running it by the Fees Office and they assured me that it was all perfectly legal.”

Speaking later, Director of Public Prosecutions, Keir Starmer, accepted “That after re-examining the case, Lord Lucan is exempt from prosecution under the 1689 Bill of Rights, Article 3, Sub Section 2, ‘murdering of staff provision’.”

However, Lord Lucan will be asked to pay back expenses claimed for a piece of lead piping, which was clearly purchased for personal use.

Asked whether he believed he had done anything wrong, Lord Lucan replied, “The thing you have to remember is that in 1974 everyone was doing it. Killing the nanny was part of the culture. Maybe I was bending the rules a little but in those days murdering the staff was something that was almost expected.”

Lord Lucan said he was looking forward to getting back to normal life. His newfound celebrity has already been rewarded with an invite to appear on Channel 4’s ‘Celebrity Wife Swap’ where he will spend a week as the husband of Supernanny, Jo Frost. “I’m looking forward to it,” said Jo, “If he gives me any trouble he’ll have his privileges removed and be sent straight to the naughty step.”

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